I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize