If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
