I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
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