hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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