You smell like stripper and shame
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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