They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
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