: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Randomize
