i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
