I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
