frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
