Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize