I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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