I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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