Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I am one with the molecules
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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