i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
