What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
