mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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