Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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