Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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