we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We're too hungover to prance.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize