i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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