I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
