she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
