nut hugger
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
