how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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