I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
