She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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