Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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