just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
