She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
