naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
