I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
