No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
