Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry sucker hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(301): View more from Maryland

I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm

Fav 4 940 1008
share tweet
(216): View more from Ohio

It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.

Fav 23 3623 1029
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(985): View more from Louisiana

I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.

Fav 15 4925 946
share tweet
(901): View more from Tennessee

Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.

(760): View more from California

Wow.

Fav 16 4557 1802
share tweet
(502): View more from Kentucky

so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done

Fav 10 4303 1161
share tweet
(859): View more from Kentucky

I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.

Fav 43 1548 3795
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(858): View more from California

I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.

Fav 3 838 1012
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(407): View more from Florida

Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing

Fav 0 41 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(716): View more from New York

Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...

Fav 0 54 16
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT