I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize