it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We left an ass print on the piano.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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