I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Pants are for mortals
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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