i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
