Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
