Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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