great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
