The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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