oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
