he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
