got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
