I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
worst night to have a conscience
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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