Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
