Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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