i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
