My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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