Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
