I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
please come you make the beer taste better
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize