Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
