my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize