how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
