What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
