That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We have started to decorate penises.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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