good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
