was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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