It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
