Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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