I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
