What did we do last night that was yellow?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
