I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
