Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
