so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
