My balls are so social today.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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