I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Are my feet made of real feet?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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