Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
