She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
