You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My boob is missing a layer of skin
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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