The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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