OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize