so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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