just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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