i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
